Today I am getting back at it! Putting it out there. Being vulnerable and hopefully authentically real?
I am a writer. I am a communicator. I am an encourager and a reformer.
I am purposing to getting back to writing regularly.
I am purposing to inspire others to think more deeply and to reflect and to encounter Truth.
There, I said it publicly.
By the gracious enablement of God, may it be so.
A Call
I have had many encouraging prophetic words spoken over me for years about writing books. Most of those words were from people that I had no prior relationship with, so that holds some weight that they would “see” me writing books. I have always enjoyed putting my thoughts on paper and even sharing them with others, however the thought of actually following through to possibly write a book or books, was pretty easy to put off as a “someday” endeavour.
You know the excuses of “when I have time or when I don’t have so much else going on,” even the “what do I have to say that hasn’t already been said by someone else?”
These reasons for not following through on the many 3 x 5 cards of writing ideas, made it easy to literally just tuck them away in a little box in my office.
Lately it seems those ideas have been like bubbles in a pot of near boiling water on the stove.
They are rising up from the deep and breaking through to the surface, first one and then another and another. The steam is rising and the atmosphere around me is shifting. It is time to tend to the pot.
Writing Letters
Journaling has been a way to process the many thoughts that swirl and compete for the front and centre stage of my mind. It was a suggested exercise given to me by a therapist when I was a young adult, to help me process what I was going through in my personal life.
It started with a logging of events and then over time it shifted to more like an open letter writing style as if writing to a relative that lived far away. Now I primarily write letters to God in a dialogue format.
It usually looks like me writing down what my thoughts are about my current life and asking questions of Him. I then pause and listen from my heart for what He would say to me.
He ALWAYS answers!
Sometimes it comes as an impression of Peace or Love or Joy. Sometimes it is like a video vision that I can watch on the “screen of my mind.” Most often it is conversational.
What I super love is that I can address God personally because I know Him personally.
I gave Him permission over 20 years ago to take leadership of my life. I accepted the Truth that is in the Bible, that He paid the price for my life, to be completely and abundantly free of the bondages of self-centredness and the pain of separation from Him that comes from doing life apart from Him. I asked Him to resurrect my spirit and live in me by His Spirit. He now guides me in everyday life. *
The Obstacles
Often if you go for a walk in nature, you will at some point encounter something that must be stepped over, climbed over or even moved, in order to get to your destination.
The destination of producing a piece of writing, I have found, is no different.
It isn’t always a clear path.
I had a life changing experience a couple of years ago when I was sitting down to write with God and to tune into His presence with me. It was one of those days where I had a lot on my “to do list.” I was having a real challenge that day to quiet all my other thoughts enough to write anything down, that I wanted to talk with God about.
I was getting more and more frustrated, as I found myself restless and having to reposition my body and close my eyes over and over again to try and tune into God’s presence.
My list of important things to do kept bombarding my mind for attention and I would feel an impulse to quickly leave my office and get my list of tasks done,THEN I could come back and be settled I reasoned, but I also felt a strong desire to stay.
(Sometimes I am my own worst obstacle that must be overcome. Is that true for you too?)
After several attempts to swat away all those pesky, contentious, mosquito like thoughts, I finally yelled out:
“Oh Lord! You must be so frustrated with me for not being able to focus on You! I am sooo sorry for being distracted and not honouring Your time and Your presence here with me!”
I felt so down about my lack of discipline and my obvious lack of self control to focus. My heart was pounding and it felt like self defeat was about to take over.
Then, oh so quietly and with such amazing perfect and gentle Love, I heard The Voice:
“I am not frustrated dear one, I would wait for you forever.”
Breakthrough
Oh my! If that didn’t burst open the gates of my heart and out gushed the tears of the tension and out poured my thanksgiving. All those nagging rambunctious thoughts of what needed to be done, became like feathers cascading to the ground as His Voice broke through the tension.
Self defeat was nowhere to be seen.
The Greater One within me had arisen. He took His place as Commander and Father of my busy mind and anxious emotions.
We then just sat there together, in this place of safe and secure intimacy, resting in each other’s company. Peace covered and saturated my soul. Love lifted the burdens off. Joy of being seen and accepted filled me.
Has that swirling of thoughts ever happened again you may be wondering?
Yes, yes it has. But I am not as concerned about it as I once was.
I know that I am a thinker and one who ponders a lot. I am curious about the hows, the whats, the whens and wheres and the whys of life.
I am very detailed and yet can also see the big picture.
It is how He wired me. I accept that about His design in me.
The Stone and The Key
The challenges of my personal wiring or design is that unless I am plugged into Him, as my True Source of Peace, I can get overwhelmed with the masses of thoughts that are constantly being generated in response to what is going on around me and in me.
The gift of that one encounter of Him reassuring me that He would wait for me patiently to settle, was a turning point. It is like a memorial stone that I can return to when I am tempted to beat myself up for being impatient with myself. My awareness of when I am out of alignment with His Peace has now been heightened.
When any competing thoughts start to spar with each other, I can now stop, step out of the ring and take a breath, shake off the tension and reassess.
Do I want to keep boxing with the thoughts or do I want to go to Jesus and find rest?
Remembering that He is always with me and reconnecting to His heart and His ways of thinking is KEY!
Being really honest with Him and knowing that He is here, waiting to engage, changes everything.
What I needed most in that moment and still need the most, is HIM!
The Truth Is
The best life really isn’t about accomplishing lists, although getting tasks done is still a necessity, it is about making relationship with Him FIRST and MOST important.
One of my go to promises from the Passion Bible is out of the book of Matthew in chapter six, verse 33:
“So above all, constantly chase after the realm of God’s kingdom and the righteousness that proceeds from Him. Then all these less important things will be given to you abundantly.”
It is simply amazing how our soul can come into a place of rest when we seek Him first in everything. He knows our needs better than we do and He is the best Father to provide for them. It won’t always look like what we imagine though, sometimes we get our wants and our needs mixed up. Sometimes we think we deserve certain things or that something SHOULD turn out the way that we want it to, while The All Knowing One sees beyond this moment and He sets us up for better than we “could ask or think according to the power at work within us.”
Whatever your callings are, no matter what is on your heart to explore, in all of these desires, make sure your number one desire is intimacy with the Lord Jesus.
You can trust Him to guide you by His Spirit. He wrote of all of your days in the timeless past even before one of them came to be here on the Earth. He knows the plans He has for you, His are the best plans.
TOGETHER you can fulfill the calls and the plans.
TOGETHER, you can overcome whatever needs to be overcome.
Stay engaged.
Stay faithful and do not lean on your own understanding.
An abundant, full and exciting Life is available to you.
Questions for you to journal:
"Jesus, how can I seek You and invest in relationship with You today and in the days to come?"
"Father God, how do You want me to Live Alive with You?"
(Write down the first things that come to your mind and heart and keep engaging Him in the dialogue. He wants to talk with you from His heart of Love and Compassion. He promises to answer us when we come with a sincere humble heart.)
~Jane
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